Tuesday, April 12, 2011

Tales from the blue left handed chair

http://thedailypoem.tumblr.com/post/4573926087/tales-from-my-blue-left-handed-chair

Tales from my blue left handed chAIR

Hey guys. I am taking a break from poetry. Special post dedicated to my high school class. Will periodically post tales.:) hahaha. It’s in filipino, my native tongue, because this post is very close to my heart

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I think of it as something difficult to comprehend….and to sift my butt. I sit there all day, wondering whether the expanse of time would stop stretching out in front of me. Or at least, maubos man lamang ang mga assignment na nasa harap ko.

I scribble down notes, trying to comprehend, process and write. Look at the teacher with a fierce gaze, unable to find a place to see the importance of the lesson. Hindi ko naman kasi magagamit sa araw araw ito eh, kaso nga lang, ito at gingawa ko ang lahat mainindihan ito. Wala ka rin naman magagawa, kung ang mga taong nakapaligid say o, alam mo, na gagawin ang lahat ng kanilang makakaya, whether they consciously know it or not.

Funny sometimes, they keep saying (and acting) that they really do not care. Alam mo yun…

Tulog yung gwapo, si Maliit, naghihikahos na magsulat. Ito naman sa kaliwa ko, kunwari’y non chalant lang, kung tignan mo naman ang output, gahalimaw na kagandahan. Higit na higit. .Tulog naman ang isa sa likod, kapag recitation naman, aariba ng bonggang bongga. At any moment in class, I am quite very much sure na may kumokopya o gumagawa ng assignment for the next periods. The teachers drone on. We pay attention, or sometimes fake it. There are hurried whispers. A stifled giggle or two. Sometimes about other kids. Sometimes about the teacher, desperate humor to break the stifling academic atmosphere.

Nakakatuwa nga naman, biruin mo na maling pagsasalita, bungisngis na agad ang aabutin sa loob ng klase. Simpleng pagbahing ng isa, papaligid na ang mga tawa. Depende nga lang sa titser. If they are uptight, syempre, itatago ang hagikhik. Pipiliting maiayos ang mga birong hindi dapat marinig ng mapanuring mga tenga.Lalo na kung mayroong imahe na dapat pangalagaan sa harap ng titser na ito. Hindi niya masusukat akalain na ito, ang grupo ng mga estudyanteng ito, ay maaring makagawa ng isang karumal dumal na kasalanan laban sa malinis na imahe . She might be shocked,and , our deportment matters too. So we keep a low profile decidedly. Kung alam naman naming na ang titser ay makakasabay sa aming napakamasayahing hindi maintindihan na humor, kami’y tiwalang tatawa. Alam naming pati siya ay tumatawa rin. Sometimes, the teacher itself becomes the joke.


The jokes, although fun, can become major trouble. Imagine having that gut churning feeling every time that person walks in. Almost everyone coated with deathly silence, cautious of the impending event. Questions will form in everyone’s heads, heart rates on the rise, and steady academic adrenaline.

Mag aral ka! Baka tanungin tayo bigla, lalong magalit kung hindi maayos ang ating gawa.

***** di ko talaga alam, kailangan nating ayusin ito.

The things that happen there during those times would never be described as something pleasant, it was quite, to put it this way: a still photo.

Yes, everything frozen to the status that it was from. Taken by the camera of memories, every sensation coloring the event. Almost unforgettable. Terrible sensations, whether you are guilty or not. Sad or scared or angry. It was still the same thing, something you don’t want to keep going back to. But you always will. Because it is a photo in your mind.

There are more happy times I have been witness to while sitting in my chair. Activities we have done, almost undeniably, the unrelinquished excellence in everything that we do. IP Projects, speech choirs, presentation, plays and requested little quims by teacher, often for something in exchange. Might we like it or not.

Section natin? Halos hindi na bitawan, ultimong props para sa isang contest, tayo papagawin,marami na tayong ginagawa niyan ah. Pero okay lang, basta perfect na ang quiz/project/recitation/monthly test. Nakakatuwa, kaso, kelan natin gagawin ito?

Alam kong lahat tayo ang magbebenefit sa grades sa paggawa natin nito..kaya tawagin mo na si (insert name here) para naman tumaas tayo ng kaunti sa (subject)

Minsan, mga kaguluhan naman ang nakikita ko. Ewan ko ba kung dapat lamang idetalye ang aking mga naririnig at nakikita. I am pretty sure, people will be pretty shell shocked to know what happens at a relatively everyday basis. Especially when the teachers are not around.

The names of the following people usually resound. They make the whole class laugh.

The first one wears the glasses. He is a little on the fat side, nevertheless, he thinks it will grom into something muscular. His resounding hoarse voice usually resounds with acceptable obscenities. He walks with the heroic gait, often emphasizing his man boobs (na lagi na lang pinipisil ng mg kabarkada niya). He can reasonably do things, green things with eerie normalcy in our name. Minsan, pag ako nakaupo, at tumapat siya sa aircon, may pag-asa kaya mag masculinate ang mga boobs niya? Masakit siguro ang palagiang pagpisil nito.

Isa sa mga taong mahilig magpisil ng boobs na ito ang susunod sa listahan. May…kalakihan din ng katawan, masayahin at lagging nakangisi. Madalas, ang naalala ko sa kanya ang tawa at tuwa na nasusulat sa mukha sa tuwing may biro o kaguluhan. Nagiging kulay kamatis ang mukha niya. Malutong rin ang halakhak nito kaya minsan, natatawa ako hindi sa biro, kundi sa reaksyon niya. Iniisip ko pa lamang, sadyang napapangiti na ako. Mahilig din siyang sumayaw, iniikot ang bewang at nagpopose na parang model. Sa kaniyang paggiling, ay sumasabay ang kumpas ng kamao na umiikot ikot ayon sa ritmo ng sayaw. Kahit hindi ganoon kalambot ay tuloy tuloy pa rin. Sigurado ako, pag nabasa niya ito, mamumula ng kamatis ang kanyang mga tenga.

Ang susunod naman ay medyo mas maliit ng kaunti sa kanyang mga kasama, medyo may kalakihan ang mata at ito ang sadyang nagbigay sa kanya ng pabirong palayaw na “kwago”. Nakakatawa isipin, ngunit iyon nga naman ang una mo na mapapansin sa kanya. Madalas ay gagawa ito ng biro at lagging tampulan ng tukso. Siya’y hindi gaano apektado dito, dahil madalas ay dinaraan niya lang sa ngiti. Kapag naghaharutan naman sila, ay madalas na iniilalalim ito ng mas malalaki niya na kasamahan.

Hindi mawawala sa listahan nito ang matalik na ang isa sa orihinal na miyembro ng barkada nila. Ito, sa akin opinion, ang pinakamatalinong magbiro. Siya rin ang palaging kumukutya sa kaibigan nating malaki ang hinaharap. Madalas niya itong tuksuhin sa mapakalawak na mga bagay. Madalas ay sa babaeng gusto nito o ang tunay nitong kasarian. Sa mga biro niya ako lubusang natatawa. Masarap kausap ito lalo na sa kaguluhan sa aming klase.

In my blue, left handed chair, I can always remember how they rough house each other. Everything they do brings me a batch of fresh smiles straight from the memory oven. There is another batch coming, but these are the best!

Friday, October 15, 2010

Nakakainis

I am so damn sad these week. Sometimes, I just cannot handle it all.
I cried at school cause of it. I want to share to Raven and Eudes. But hell, I wont
I am too dependent on them. Im crying as I am writting this. PM ME KATE. :)

Wednesday, September 29, 2010

Keep your head forward.

Wao. Well, actually, this is the only actual time when my brain does not throb with things to worry about. I know that its temporary so, might as well abuse the fact that I can blog PROPERLY.

It's after NCAE, I got a speech choir, a contest and a directing job plus the fact that we have a periodical exam. The internet just got back to normal so Im taking a long long break.

Im effed up tired. There is some work to be done. And yes, its not just school this time.

I look at myself at the mirror and see, I had grown up a lot. My senior year is nuff proof.

Im trying to do something artsy, but I just wanna keep hearing my hands fly over the keyboard so I can keep writting. (My poems are in fb, I dont know why I put it there.)

Nothing to report for the matters of the heart. Although, I have been quite happy for an especially long time.
Though, I wont state anything that would say something about my personal matters.
Id just like to say that the scales are tipping. :)

Bee-Hay. Im stalking my friends livejournals and trying to decide whether to get one or not.
Probably not, too much anime

Friday, September 10, 2010

Htting a Lot of Birds with One Stone

Kind of stoned. Tomorrow is the big show. and the giving of cards.
Totally tired. Am one big ball of messed up girl.
I have been unwinding using the company of my summit friends.
Maybe, it will be better if I put my thoughts in order. Like A List.

-PSYSC Summit was in full swing. New people, new friends, new people to converse with. Lotsa pictures and facebook adding.

-High School week was fun. SENIORS RULED IT! EPICALLY WON IT! hahaha. so many people thought we were gonna be crushed. But here we are. BACK 2 BACK 2 BACK CHAMPS!

-I got a show on saturday. Madumi. Epically worried. I mean WORRIED. TDR to. d sya show

-CARDS. nuff said. I will probably be so depressed Ill use the tears from a broken report card as a maneuver on crying on the show.

Monday, August 30, 2010

Mask Off...for the while

Sometimes, I just dont say, but you can really be full sometimes.
I mean, sometimes its just simple things, yet it feels like I have to work so hard for it to be mine.
Why do I have to face anger remorse, despair depression and all that stuff
While other kids get to do/get/convince it so easily. I mean to tell the truth Im the responsible leaderish neat and applicable one.
Why cant I be the one?
Its so frustrating sometimes.
When u do lots for others yet what u want does not come for you.
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