Haix...
those words.. the title?
DAMN.. THAT'S JUST ME.
I really hate those words. They pin me down cause i have that achingly bad habit of fibbin' before getting to the point. And when i do get to the point. I just have to lose my nerve.
How many times i have done that? More than i could count.
My friends think i get to the point easily at most times. But you know what?
I just can't be honest to myslef.
Especially when big things are involved.
I cannot write this blog anywhere else. Blogspot is kinda my private journal. Where all my deepest thoughts collide. Where my writting gets intense because i know only 3 pairs of eyes can see it. And i trust the other two. They wouldn't spread my word from here.
And when i see no one to listen about. I write it here.
Anyway, back to the point. I am way tired of beating around the bush. I am such a coward. I can't even face my own emotions. I get trapped in an illusion where i put it off until i cannot put it off any longer.
And, now the biggest damage of all is slowly affecting me like a mad raging disease. It is just so heartbreakingly big (for me, at least). I keep stiring"if only.." if i had been..".
And those involved? they have no clue that i am suffering. But, i guess it was my own fault. Forgetting it will be a good option.
If only i can make it numb through the process.
Maybe it will be easier.
Because, now
I really have to face the music.
That past is past.'
PAST.
those words.. the title?
DAMN.. THAT'S JUST ME.
I really hate those words. They pin me down cause i have that achingly bad habit of fibbin' before getting to the point. And when i do get to the point. I just have to lose my nerve.
How many times i have done that? More than i could count.
My friends think i get to the point easily at most times. But you know what?
I just can't be honest to myslef.
Especially when big things are involved.
I cannot write this blog anywhere else. Blogspot is kinda my private journal. Where all my deepest thoughts collide. Where my writting gets intense because i know only 3 pairs of eyes can see it. And i trust the other two. They wouldn't spread my word from here.
And when i see no one to listen about. I write it here.
Anyway, back to the point. I am way tired of beating around the bush. I am such a coward. I can't even face my own emotions. I get trapped in an illusion where i put it off until i cannot put it off any longer.
And, now the biggest damage of all is slowly affecting me like a mad raging disease. It is just so heartbreakingly big (for me, at least). I keep stiring"if only.." if i had been..".
And those involved? they have no clue that i am suffering. But, i guess it was my own fault. Forgetting it will be a good option.
If only i can make it numb through the process.
Maybe it will be easier.
Because, now
I really have to face the music.
That past is past.'
PAST.
++i sound so emo-ish, dont listen to most of my words
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