I'll give you a reason to feel everything that people are supposed to feel.

Tales from the blue left handed chair

2011-04-12T22:41:00.000-07:00

http://thedailypoem.tumblr.com/post/4573926087/tales-from-my-blue-left-handed-chair

Tales from my blue left handed chAIR

Hey guys. I am taking a break from poetry. Special post dedicated to my high school class. Will periodically post tales.:) hahaha. It’s in filipino, my native tongue, because this post is very close to my heart
READ!

I think of it as something difficult to comprehend….and to sift my butt. I sit there all day, wondering whether the expanse of time would stop stretching out in front of me. Or at least, maubos man lamang ang mga assignment na nasa harap ko.

I scribble down notes, trying to comprehend, process and write. Look at the teacher with a fierce gaze, unable to find a place to see the importance of the lesson. Hindi ko naman kasi magagamit sa araw araw ito eh, kaso nga lang, ito at gingawa ko ang lahat mainindihan ito. Wala ka rin naman magagawa, kung ang mga taong nakapaligid say o, alam mo, na gagawin ang lahat ng kanilang makakaya, whether they consciously know it or not.

Funny sometimes, they keep saying (and acting) that they really do not care. Alam mo yun…

Tulog yung gwapo, si Maliit, naghihikahos na magsulat. Ito naman sa kaliwa ko, kunwari’y non chalant lang, kung tignan mo naman ang output, gahalimaw na kagandahan. Higit na higit. .Tulog naman ang isa sa likod, kapag recitation naman, aariba ng bonggang bongga. At any moment in class, I am quite very much sure na may kumokopya o gumagawa ng assignment for the next periods. The teachers drone on. We pay attention, or sometimes fake it. There are hurried whispers. A stifled giggle or two. Sometimes about other kids. Sometimes about the teacher, desperate humor to break the stifling academic atmosphere.

Nakakatuwa nga naman, biruin mo na maling pagsasalita, bungisngis na agad ang aabutin sa loob ng klase. Simpleng pagbahing ng isa, papaligid na ang mga tawa. Depende nga lang sa titser. If they are uptight, syempre, itatago ang hagikhik. Pipiliting maiayos ang mga birong hindi dapat marinig ng mapanuring mga tenga.Lalo na kung mayroong imahe na dapat pangalagaan sa harap ng titser na ito. Hindi niya masusukat akalain na ito, ang grupo ng mga estudyanteng ito, ay maaring makagawa ng isang karumal dumal na kasalanan laban sa malinis na imahe . She might be shocked,and , our deportment matters too. So we keep a low profile decidedly. Kung alam naman naming na ang titser ay makakasabay sa aming napakamasayahing hindi maintindihan na humor, kami’y tiwalang tatawa. Alam naming pati siya ay tumatawa rin. Sometimes, the teacher itself becomes the joke.

The jokes, although fun, can become major trouble. Imagine having that gut churning feeling every time that person walks in. Almost everyone coated with deathly silence, cautious of the impending event. Questions will form in everyone’s heads, heart rates on the rise, and steady academic adrenaline.

Mag aral ka! Baka tanungin tayo bigla, lalong magalit kung hindi maayos ang ating gawa.

***** di ko talaga alam, kailangan nating ayusin ito.

The things that happen there during those times would never be described as something pleasant, it was quite, to put it this way: a still photo.

Yes, everything frozen to the status that it was from. Taken by the camera of memories, every sensation coloring the event. Almost unforgettable. Terrible sensations, whether you are guilty or not. Sad or scared or angry. It was still the same thing, something you don’t want to keep going back to. But you always will. Because it is a photo in your mind.

There are more happy times I have been witness to while sitting in my chair. Activities we have done, almost undeniably, the unrelinquished excellence in everything that we do. IP Projects, speech choirs, presentation, plays and requested little quims by teacher, often for something in exchange. Might we like it or not.

Section natin? Halos hindi na bitawan, ultimong props para sa isang contest, tayo papagawin,marami na tayong ginagawa niyan ah. Pero okay lang, basta perfect na ang quiz/project/recitation/monthly test. Nakakatuwa, kaso, kelan natin gagawin ito?

Alam kong lahat tayo ang magbebenefit sa grades sa paggawa natin nito..kaya tawagin mo na si (insert name here) para naman tumaas tayo ng kaunti sa (subject)

Minsan, mga kaguluhan naman ang nakikita ko. Ewan ko ba kung dapat lamang idetalye ang aking mga naririnig at nakikita. I am pretty sure, people will be pretty shell shocked to know what happens at a relatively everyday basis. Especially when the teachers are not around.

The names of the following people usually resound. They make the whole class laugh.

The first one wears the glasses. He is a little on the fat side, nevertheless, he thinks it will grom into something muscular. His resounding hoarse voice usually resounds with acceptable obscenities. He walks with the heroic gait, often emphasizing his man boobs (na lagi na lang pinipisil ng mg kabarkada niya). He can reasonably do things, green things with eerie normalcy in our name. Minsan, pag ako nakaupo, at tumapat siya sa aircon, may pag-asa kaya mag masculinate ang mga boobs niya? Masakit siguro ang palagiang pagpisil nito.

Isa sa mga taong mahilig magpisil ng boobs na ito ang susunod sa listahan. May…kalakihan din ng katawan, masayahin at lagging nakangisi. Madalas, ang naalala ko sa kanya ang tawa at tuwa na nasusulat sa mukha sa tuwing may biro o kaguluhan. Nagiging kulay kamatis ang mukha niya. Malutong rin ang halakhak nito kaya minsan, natatawa ako hindi sa biro, kundi sa reaksyon niya. Iniisip ko pa lamang, sadyang napapangiti na ako. Mahilig din siyang sumayaw, iniikot ang bewang at nagpopose na parang model. Sa kaniyang paggiling, ay sumasabay ang kumpas ng kamao na umiikot ikot ayon sa ritmo ng sayaw. Kahit hindi ganoon kalambot ay tuloy tuloy pa rin. Sigurado ako, pag nabasa niya ito, mamumula ng kamatis ang kanyang mga tenga.

Ang susunod naman ay medyo mas maliit ng kaunti sa kanyang mga kasama, medyo may kalakihan ang mata at ito ang sadyang nagbigay sa kanya ng pabirong palayaw na “kwago”. Nakakatawa isipin, ngunit iyon nga naman ang una mo na mapapansin sa kanya. Madalas ay gagawa ito ng biro at lagging tampulan ng tukso. Siya’y hindi gaano apektado dito, dahil madalas ay dinaraan niya lang sa ngiti. Kapag naghaharutan naman sila, ay madalas na iniilalalim ito ng mas malalaki niya na kasamahan.

Hindi mawawala sa listahan nito ang matalik na ang isa sa orihinal na miyembro ng barkada nila. Ito, sa akin opinion, ang pinakamatalinong magbiro. Siya rin ang palaging kumukutya sa kaibigan nating malaki ang hinaharap. Madalas niya itong tuksuhin sa mapakalawak na mga bagay. Madalas ay sa babaeng gusto nito o ang tunay nitong kasarian. Sa mga biro niya ako lubusang natatawa. Masarap kausap ito lalo na sa kaguluhan sa aming klase.

In my blue, left handed chair, I can always remember how they rough house each other. Everything they do brings me a batch of fresh smiles straight from the memory oven. There is another batch coming, but these are the best!

#draft #love #monica #high school

Nakakainis

2010-10-15T07:54:00.000-07:00

I am so damn sad these week. Sometimes, I just cannot handle it all.

I cried at school cause of it. I want to share to Raven and Eudes. But hell, I wont

I am too dependent on them. Im crying as I am writting this. PM ME KATE. :)

Keep your head forward.

2010-09-29T03:21:00.000-07:00

Wao. Well, actually, this is the only actual time when my brain does not throb with things to worry about. I know that its temporary so, might as well abuse the fact that I can blog PROPERLY.

It's after NCAE, I got a speech choir, a contest and a directing job plus the fact that we have a periodical exam. The internet just got back to normal so Im taking a long long break.

Im effed up tired. There is some work to be done. And yes, its not just school this time.

I look at myself at the mirror and see, I had grown up a lot. My senior year is nuff proof.

Im trying to do something artsy, but I just wanna keep hearing my hands fly over the keyboard so I can keep writting. (My poems are in fb, I dont know why I put it there.)

Nothing to report for the matters of the heart. Although, I have been quite happy for an especially long time.

Though, I wont state anything that would say something about my personal matters.

Id just like to say that the scales are tipping. :)

Bee-Hay. Im stalking my friends livejournals and trying to decide whether to get one or not.

Probably not, too much anime

Htting a Lot of Birds with One Stone

2010-09-10T02:57:00.000-07:00

Kind of stoned. Tomorrow is the big show. and the giving of cards.

Totally tired. Am one big ball of messed up girl.

I have been unwinding using the company of my summit friends.

Maybe, it will be better if I put my thoughts in order. Like A List.

-PSYSC Summit was in full swing. New people, new friends, new people to converse with. Lotsa pictures and facebook adding.

-High School week was fun. SENIORS RULED IT! EPICALLY WON IT! hahaha. so many people thought we were gonna be crushed. But here we are. BACK 2 BACK 2 BACK CHAMPS!

-I got a show on saturday. Madumi. Epically worried. I mean WORRIED. TDR to. d sya show

-CARDS. nuff said. I will probably be so depressed Ill use the tears from a broken report card as a maneuver on crying on the show.

Mask Off...for the while

2010-08-30T05:46:00.000-07:00

Sometimes, I just dont say, but you can really be full sometimes.

I mean, sometimes its just simple things, yet it feels like I have to work so hard for it to be mine.

Why do I have to face anger remorse, despair depression and all that stuff

While other kids get to do/get/convince it so easily. I mean to tell the truth Im the responsible leaderish neat and applicable one.

Why cant I be the one?

Its so frustrating sometimes.

When u do lots for others yet what u want does not come for you.

Candles Flowers and Death

2010-08-28T06:15:00.000-07:00

So well, its the rainy season and mosquitoes are spouting about like flies. (Which seems ironic, considering the metaphor, theres a joke there somewhere)

And yeah, kind of scared of creeks, vases, water open to air, unused tires.

I better start back from the beginning.

You see my annoying brother has a friend. This friend and him were totally tight. I mean, they talk on the phone while playing dota and share music using the phone as well. They borrow stuff from each other and this friend also convinced him to join something resembling a physical sport. They have shennanigans too, its not like he's immaculate or so. but yeah, they got this buddy bond thats so nice I am so jealous. (The closest friend I have is in Mandaluyong, nobody here at school)

Anyways, I feel bad for my younger guy. He has friend issues and he gets attached to selected people. he may not tell us, but the pain is there. (He had a freaky stomachache for Dayss). And, I feel bad for the rents of my bro's bff. He's an only son. I can only imagine the pain. I do hope that the boy is with God, and he is at peace.

"Keep faith"

Small Whispers

2010-08-25T17:52:00.000-07:00

Can you just stand there and hear me out.
Thats all right because I love the way you lie

Well, kind of LSS-ed with the song. I am on faceboot so no PC restrictions from mom at home. I am excused at twelve, and well seriously not taking it seriously. :D
I am getting quite tired of going to the theatre group. Theres a lot of noisy idle-ness and truth be told, I cannot be myself sometimes, if I speak the way i do at class they would be annoyed. Kind of really distressing on my part. So I try to SHALLOW DOWN. But alas, I cannot keep up with the trend of noise. Maybe I am just born with a killjoy gene. I enjoy their company, of course. And I love working with them, but maybe there is just a Saturation Point (to point out economically. As MS Cruzada would have said) to how much I can take.

I love the way you lie. Love the way you lie.......

Sugod.Wait,Atras,Takbo

2010-08-24T05:35:00.000-07:00

Relatively, in a government, a legal system or make that a democratic one, ensure that everyone gets the fair share of something called Justice.

Wouldn't it be nice to hear that Justice is Served?

Unfortunately, it doesnt seem to happen that easily today.

As we have seen the previous day,a live hostage drama by Supt. Mendoza suspending 15 Hongkong Nationals who were only on their innocent and merry way to enjoy themselves got tangled up in the Philippine Justice Hysteria. They were supposed to leave 7.15 pm that night, but well, take a detour on Philippine Government Trashbags eh? And while your at it, throw in your lives too.

Why its all wrong

-Suspension was done by the Ombudsman, although it was still subject to appeal, he got peeled off duty

-The guys a good policeman, he wouldnt do such thing f u havent triggered him

-Can anyone really tell me no corruption set the ignition on this?
-The police assaulted his brother accusing him on Conspiracy when he was tryong to negotiate too.

- He started firing AFTER he saw on the on board TV what the police did to his bro (WELL DUH!)

- SWAT and police: sERIOUSLY, u trained for this? Should it not be a direct assault.

Well, Im just saying (from my very humble opinion) that it would have worked well if you had agreed to his terms. No one would have been killed, or got into the damage. Or maybe, simply, if you let him have a chance on the case he was on. Hongkong shouldn't be angry and terrified of us, especially we have strong business and trade connection with them. (ALSO OFWs) if it all worked out smoothly. We wouldn't have been paying a bigger price. A big economical price tag mind you.

Seniors

2010-08-20T07:12:00.000-07:00

tayoy tumaloon
tayoy sumigaw (Seniors)
Maghawak hawak kayo'y magback out
This is hotness we're d winners
Move aside cause HERE COMES SENIORS!

Thats the jingle in my head today. Well intrams is coming up. And things have happened

-Im not eagerly depressed or sullen. Not exactly happy go lucky but even better than last year.

- he's sick. And yes, Im not harboring feelings that are made for discussion anymore.

-Met someone interesting. :) Too bad it ended too soon. hahaha<- hint. sUMMER THING only :))

- Academics are seriously freaking me out. One WOrd: ANDAMI!

-Periodicals have ended.

- Im enjoying hang outs with hedda,alyssa and the rest of the gang.

-I survived UPCAT. USTET, here i GO. :)

- Magazines and High heels are taking more of my interest each day.

- I dont understand Physics that well, that I hired a tutor.

-I landed a seriously challenging role for theatre. EPIC :)

-Kruhay seems more game-y more

- Im not as addicted to facebook anymore

-Im way too busy to update the right way

-My phone rings--and its not just business stuff

-Saving money and trying to learn to commute. <-- my all new goals. Im so getting rid of the driver and getting more cash for myself

- Still cannot decide who ill be.

(Do appreciate help)

Ill update better when Im in perfect work.

hAPPY mOM's Day

2010-05-08T22:15:00.002-07:00

Happy MOther’s day: To all OFW moms, working as moms, being moms, had been moms, would be moms, expecting moms, silent suffering moms, sweet moms, sensible strict moms, sinful moms and for JUST BEING A MOM. this day is for you"

CONFUSED

2010-05-08T22:15:00.001-07:00

Somehow, I cannot put it in any other way possible.

Every time I go to a certain thing, I feel so outcast and indifferent. I mean, do not get me wrong, I have been with them with 3 years but somehow, even if I can say that my commitment is a good hold, I cannot help wondering if, I ever did fit in with them or is it….PUTTING UP WITH me.

Such a big difference in those words that can meet a big gash inside one’s heart. It’s not like I haven’t tried, I have, BELIEVE me. But somehow it just does not seem enough, and I still end up looking like someone who just came in, not one to spend time with.,

its so hard for me to decpher

2010-04-26T06:52:00.000-07:00

Myself, because my feelings are in confusion again.

The Glass has overflown. its time to drink the milk dear,

2010-04-13T05:00:00.000-07:00

Well, its April 13th, a day before my birthday and halfway through my little sense of independence known as commuting to Alabang everyday.

There has been a lot going on lately, my class and I have parted ways for summer (hopefully, ill still be with them next year). We are in different review schools so I don;t get to see them that much anymore. I use facebook and ym to keep me up to date. But, sometimes I rather not. I am in the constant field of the roads and when I get home, I review and accompany people to whatever whatsitplace they want me to go along with them. I do have a commuting buddy though. Kahlil and I go to the same building but not to the same review center. His presence constantly reminds me of some people I have spent almost all of my high school life with, And I am beginning to do serious worrying about getting separated from them. I am much of a hypocrite to say before that I really am ecstatic about college, but here now, I am close to tears imagining that those faces will not be the ones to greet me every school year. Well, things change. :]

It's the night before my birthday, and I don't really know how to feel about it. I just feel like I grew up another year and thats it. Maybe a few candles or something would do. I dont intend to ask for a gift or something from anyone at all. I am absolutely content on what I have right now. Unlike most kids my age, they would take upon deep advantage of such to ask for things. But as I began to ponder of things I may request moments ago, I find nothing that has caught the high anymore. All I actually want is all the people I CARE MOST about maybe not right next to me, but thoughtful enough to be there for me. I'll smile just for that reason. Somehow, I sidestep again and I feel like it will be one birthday wish I so painfully want but I could not have because, I know that some of those people will be too preoccupied with their lives. Well, at least I have a b-day wish. That's quite something.

One more thing, I have the very miserable recurring feeling of missing someone/s. I keep looking for someone that will totally saturate this imissyou feeling but somehow, that certain person keeps eluding me. It would not go away, instead, keeps getting worse making me toss and turn in bed when I should be getting precious sleep. I hope I find the cause of this undismmisve problem. I have no more mental space for such things right now. College is taking over my brain, and so are much people in my life right now

Summer Starters

2010-04-01T16:21:00.000-07:00

Basically,(man, im picking sir rocky'y habit) its been busy round here.

People are in holy week mode, which means veggies and stocking up on food and dvd's

I proposed on a novena at evening, and man its been leaving me tired.

I am in fb and its 7am, too early for anyone to be onlne, but just the right time for me while I am sipping coffee and eating.

My review starts on Monday, which means i cant come to the outing. (Its okay, as long as someone else isnt attending.

I gotta go, someone wants to use the computer.

getting summer ready is busy.

i promise i will redesign

3rdYear, Clare Year

2010-03-28T05:10:00.000-07:00

Maybe, this has become a yearly tribute to the things that has become of this year.

But well, this one is particularly interesting to me. I wont have good definitions unless...I got to 4th year. Right now, heres a comphrehensively absent minded list:

-ALCANTARA THE PRESIDENT ( HMM...planado to)

-JOLO LEAVES...AWW (Man, guilty much?)

-smym EXPANDS (o baka huli lang ako sa news)

-Sir V2G'S really scary 2 hour confrontations (tagal, super scary,u feel quilty kahit wala ka naman gngwa)

-1st IP

-AH1N1 week (hectic)

-core values before periodicals (ONE WEEK! BEAT THAT!)

-sir v2gs music vids (HAII)

-Ondoy week (bored 2 death)

- Pageant prep (ung gown!)

-recollection (awww....:(( PAINFUL)

-Speech Choir (sayang)
-2nd IP (PURO KALAT)

-X Mas Party (hay naku, masama rin memory dito :)) )

-CLARE BEL-AIR (compliments with Kahlil's docu)
-January Pre Prom incidents (hahahahah)

-Musikalikasan :P

-PROM! (suprising)

-Cine Agustino

-Foundation Week

-Last Few Days.. :)

did i forget something?
oh yeah

-LAST RECOGNITION PRACTICES

check this out

2010-03-16T23:35:00.000-07:00

http://www.chromedrose.tumblr.com

its open to edits but it has a password. It's cordova

just go in! and drop me a line

Keeping up

2010-03-09T22:14:00.000-08:00

Well, lets just say this blog is getting more personal and petty by the minute.

Anyways, I have a hard time keeping up here, because tunblr is making it so damn easy to posy and post. and post
So yeah. I did tell it the real deal.
An well, I expected something to come up at first, maybe the avoid signs but nothing really.
Just happy its off my back.

But something bothers me a lot.
It is making me expect again. I mean really expect.
There is so much sugar my sweet tooth just got a cavity.metaphorically of course.
The sugar is bad for my tooth, yet it is filling it up.
I know the ending of this anyway. It was just nothing and it does not remember.
Somehow, I wanna tell it off. Because I wanna forget it. But I am scared it will sort of avoid me and I was avoiding that to happen, maybe I am assuming things to much. I wanna be friends better if more than that. But it made it clear that there is nothing. So I am just waiting for it to fade away. Then Maybe things will be for the better. At least. And I wont have to get too worked up about the situation anymore

My Personality Test Results

2010-03-05T22:59:00.000-08:00

General Characteristics (gray table)

Oppositeness + dependence on feelings + need of change
You strive to get out of an unsatisfactory situation, and react to complex circumstances with a great deal of irritation, as those circumstances make impossible deep satisfaction and the pleasant awareness of personal security.

Your Desired Objective

Seeks success, stimulation, and a life full of experience. Wants to develop freely and to shake off the shackles of self-doubt, to win, and to live intensely. Likes contacts with others and is enthusiastic by nature. Receptive to anything new, modern, or intriguing; has many interests and wants to expand his fields of activity. Optimistic about the future.

Existing Situation

Dissatisfied. The need to escape continued involvement with his present circumstances makes it imperative for him to find some solution.

Your Restrained Characteristics

You are unduly sensitive to your own emotions, easily hurt and extremely quick to take offence. Because of your excessive self-control and aloofness, resulting from you over-reacting to them, you remain without a cordial attachment. You are extremely egocentric, and this results in you finding yourself in isolation.

= 1 = 6
You satisfy your sensual needs and release the compelling tension without a cordial attachment. You are capable of being physically satisfied by the means of sexual activity. However, you are inclined to restrain from others, which does not allow you to be involved into an emotional relationship deeply enough. You are passive in contacting others, and, therefore, cannot satisfy your sensual needs.

Your Stress Sources

Has an unsatisfied need to ally himself with others whose standards are as high as his own, and to stand out from the rank and file. This subjects him to considerable stress, but he sticks to his attitudes despite lack of appreciation. Finds the situation uncomfortable and would like to break away from it, but refuses to compromise with his opinions. Unable to resolve the situation because he continually postpones making the necessary decision as he doubts his ability to withstand the opposition which would result. Needs the esteem of others, compliance with his wishes, and respect for his opinions before he can feel at ease and secure.

Your Actual Problem

The tensions induced by trying to cope with conditions which are really beyond his capabilities, or his reserves of strength, have led to considerable anxiety and a sense of personal (but unadmitted) inadequacy. He attempts to remedy this by intense activity and by insistence on getting his own way. Faulty self-control can lead to ungovernable displays of anger.

SHOCK

2010-03-01T04:06:00.000-08:00

I am a teenager. and somehow, all my blogs would conceive of a less matured brain. But things happen to turn around once in a while.,

A big hole would break you in, and being a kid. you just could not handle it.

I wish something would go right for once

Losing

2010-02-20T03:13:00.000-08:00

Damn. Sometimes, technology can be a lifesaver, it can save ur homework, your acads, your musical knowledge and sometimes even your social life.

But somehow, it turned the tide on me. I mean, I was looking forward for this thing all day. I was stressed out and our chitter chatter can easily calm me.

but no.

the internet conked up.bunged up, seriously hot messed up. I got so worked up. When it came back up again, it was all gone. Man, I was seriously pissed off that I pounded the connection. And now, its working up to par. Stress is blissfully took over me the whole day and the internet just went in and made it take over. I am gonna wait, until I bug my eyes out. I feel sorry for someone, I dissed on him about it, sorry. BAD DAY. PLUCKY DAY :(

2010-02-19T03:50:00.000-08:00

Man, so I am currently looking up worksheets about CHEM AND AA.

Somehow, it really does not appear. Its so hard to look up. WTH?
So nayways, I gave up and started to procrastinate.

so NOW, I am thinking.

Why do values get predetermined by gender, race and status?

I mean unfair much.

talk about democratic cultures.

We do not have one.

---

To B**** gUY

you continue to make me hurt. Just so you know, I am not over you.

And damn, I want you around but I can't have you. Yet I continue to give unrequited affection. DAMN

HOPE YOU FEEL SOMETHING, AND APPRECIATE IT

____

An Open Letter

2010-02-16T04:17:00.000-08:00

sorry po, ngunit dahil na siguro sa samA NG LOOB AY HND ko na kaya pigilin.

Makikisama na lamang ako, ngunit sana ay maintindihan niyo na lahat nng pagsasakripisyo at kagandahnh loob ay nagkakaroon ng hanganan, lalo na kung gusto mo na makita ang resulta nito. Ngunit sa nangyayari ay ako pa ang lumalabas na masama at nagkamali.

Gusto ko lamang itanong sa iyo, kung minsan ba ay ginawan ko ng kasamaan ang katuahan mo, lahat naman ay aking gingawa para na rin sa ikabubuti mo, subalit ako pa rin ang napapahamak at napapasama sa imahe ko sa iyo.

Sana ay makarating ito sa iyo, dahil alam mo naman kung gaano kataas ang pride ko, at maari ko na sabihing, nilunok at itinago ko ito para sa iyo. Nasasaktan na rin ako, dahil sa pagwawalang bahala at pagtatakip dila mo.

Sana naman, bigyan mo ako ng kahit anu pa mang magandang sukli, dahil hindi man ako humingi sa iyo ng kahit anu, ay sinasaktan mo naman ako. You cannot take anyone for granted.Especially one who has done enough for you

My accidental happily ever after....oooh yeah

2010-02-13T18:53:00.000-08:00

So heres the thing. Its Valentine's Day, And well, nothing special to me (just lots of chocolates).

I happen to stumble upon a beautiful song. Off the movie The Princess and The Frog. Which BTW, is so heartrending in a way :P.

The song is too sweet too miss, especially today

The Lyrics here:

(Ooh)
For the way you changed my plans
For being the perfect distraction
For the way you took the idea that I have
Of everything that I wanted to have
And made me see there was something missing (oh yeah)

For the ending of my first begin
(Ooh yeah yeah)(ooh yeah yeah)
And for the rare and unexpected friend
(Ooh yeah yeah)(ooh yeah yeah)
For the way you're something that I never choose
But at the same time something I don't wanna lose
And never wanna be without ever again (oh oh)

You're the best thing I Never Knew I Needed
So when you were here I had no idea
You're the best thing I never knew I needed
So now it's so clear I need you here always

My accidental happily (ever after oh oh oh)
The way you smile and how you comfort me (with your laughter)
I must admit you were not a part of my book
But now if you open it up and take a look
You're the beginning and the end of every chapter (oh oh)

You're the best thing I never knew I needed (oh)
So when you were here I had no idea
You're the best thing I never knew I needed (that I needed)
So now it's so clear I need you here always

Who'd knew that I'd be here (who'd knew that I'd be here oh oh)
So unexpectedly (so unexpectedly oh oh)
Undeniably happy (hey)
Said with you right here, right here next to me (oh)
Girl you're the...

You're the best thing I never knew I needed (said I needed oh oh)
So when you were here I had no idea
You're the best thing I never knew I needed (needed oh)
So now it's so clear I need you here always
Baby baby
Now it's so clear I need you here always

Do I dO i NOT?

2010-02-13T02:43:00.001-08:00

vALENTINES DATE.

will i give in even if its not you?

DAYM

Feb 9, 6-12MN. SOFITEL

2010-02-13T01:21:00.001-08:00

I suppose I am breaking my promise to myself that I will not blog about my prom. But Kahlil's post inspired me to do so. (hahaha :P) Let's all start at the beginning.

I woke up to a rough morning, the stylist was early and I had to shower. As usual, I hate being rushed. But then, I woke up much later than usual (guess the reason).

My whole prep period involved lots of tugging and hairspray and curlers on my head. Globs and globs of foundation and last minute tricks to my black dress.

BTW, the dress was gorgeous. Well for me that is. And the heels were not too tall to intimidate people. And tall enough for me to enjoy the night without killing my feet (unlike most girls that night)

I arrived early and my rents accompanied me to find the registration. I saw the SMYM, and tapped them on the shoulder. I almost laughed at their surprised faces when they saw me. Good thing I was early, so not to bug my dress much. My mom was fussing throughout the pre prom. She was all retouch here. I talked to them a lot.

My classmates are all in glam and glitter. I can't believe it, like really. When the entourage came, I was paired up with Albert Quintana, who unfortunately, despite my low heels, looked smaller than me. I told him to slow down because we almost tripped at the first step. Somehow, we got through unscathed. After we all got seated, the programme started with all this turn over ceremony. We kidded about the seats and gossiped about the people around us. Our table was soo...hyped up. Then Dinner was served, the soup was ..nakakaumay, I barely ate the pasta but I swipped tiramisu fast. Our table counted up to our classmate Kyle, seeing how much time t takes for him to finish the food. We laughed as his record was 15 seconds. After dinner, the awards were announced, Michelle fretted with the prom princess as she was all ready to take the crown. :P Eudes won the prom prince and the prom royalties led the first dance.

Trisha and I zipped to the restroom for a quick fresher. She kept stepping on my dress and I keep steppin on hers. Somehow, our gowns were still intact when we got back.

--the dance part

Suprisingly, my first dance was Alyssa, it was a joke and we kept laughing at each other for some reason.

Andrei was my second then Kuya Joshua, I told him I was hiding, and we both laughed. We had a great conversation that our dance lasted 2 songs. Then the fast dances. We had a group circle of Clare, I was so caught up at the music and Kahlil was looking at me warily, pointing out how I dance too much then imitates it. Mira was my fast dance partner as she also told alyssa, what a party maniac I am. (That I take a surprise compliment).

Afterwards was Frans (we looked complete opposite as he was in white I was in black), James (which Kahlil didnt too subtly hint me the first year thing), Kahlil (where we hurled off on plans)> Mark (with our gender bender type of slow dance. which was fun) Eudes (where Mr. Prom Prince was too gritty and stiff) Bob (cold hands) Raymart(too tall) SMYM members (hahaha, Syd and I are still opposition)

i rocked a complete set of party songs as I changed groups constantly, with Kruhay and Clare. I felt like I didnt tire at all. We had a kruhay showdown at a part of the dance floor. We also got to take a group pictures (one for clare, one for kruhay). And gulped water fast. Feeling weird that I never tire of singing and dancing.

sweet bits:
-Mirabelle and Lue are crazy dancers. They inspire me

-Most clare girls are all blah and sat down most of the time

-Kahlil finally got the nerve to ask her to dance as I screamed girlishly in kilig (dare!)

- Hedda got the dance of her life with "O" which she enjoys

- Alyssa danced with me in a lot of crazy songs.

-Almost everyone took their heels off

- Kruhay people are very loud, even with loud music and a group of even louder musical screams. Despite the fact that it was just the Juniors and The Seniors.

The dance was so random as well. The party music was all eighties then rock then modern. The sweet songs are all olde. Not too old but like not really the prom kinda song sweet old. As everyone tired down, The slow dance started, I fell to a chair and rested for awhile. Someone unexpected asked me the last dance, Eudes. I was flabbergasted. Not only was I not expecting anyone to ask me, much more i didnt expect him at all. I looked around and saw that Alyssa was not there, and completely understood why.

END

PROM BLUES- QUALMS

2010-02-08T03:20:00.000-08:00

Im freaking nervous.

I am not a least bit excited. Im nervous.

I feel so petty. Im robelle, and I should not be worrying about such.

Turns out I could. DARN

I do not know what to think anymore

2010-02-06T05:15:00.000-08:00

Darn. What a waste of good valuable time.

But we are all human beings, and we waste efforts on things that make us happy but not useful.

Sweet irony at its best. I think that maybe, things can turn into a likelihood of trouble.

LETS ALL SEE

Untellable Thoughts

2010-02-04T04:24:00.000-08:00

I am bound so tightly it hurts.

The ropes twisted around me are getting stronger, I long for a way to get it out. To end the pain and misery, yet. In the back of my mind, seeps a curious little heart that seems to enjoy this pain.

I am wracked for hours, agonizing over all that I felt. Strangely pure death, but a bit of me enjoys it. I flash memories of used-to-be's and the rope got tighter. I do not know when it ends, but pain endures for a long time

I get tired easily today. Field demo is picking up the pace. Alpha and Omega is giving me the creeps. And my card scared the wits outta me.

I do not know how to handle more of the pressure but I have to. I am slowly torn inside. Not just a bit, but slowly and painfully, like torture. Every element in my life coming down to crash. It is like the sharp ropes I have described earlier.

I am Numb

Sick By Definition but not in reality.

I wish for a little comfort and light. And the 9TH 24 hour of this month is not gonna get me easy.

I want it all to stop, for me to breathe and keep up with the pace again.

:'/

a Little Cruelty Goes A Long Way

2010-01-31T03:14:00.000-08:00

Sometimes you must be cruel to be kind. The minor ouch of an inoculation can prevent a major illness.

Which basically means that A little hurt will go a long way. I am reading 1984 by George Orwell right now. The novel is basically a negative utopia gone wild in Mr. Orwell s nightmarish vision of 1984 in the early 20th century when the World Powers are in the process of ARMS RACE. The heretic protagonist gets caught joining the revolution and the torture, betrayal and scary story begins. It is so mind twisting that I have to stop and figure it out for a minute or two before continuing.

That was the novel, at one part of it, he is tortured mentally, his mind is bent to conform with the society in the book. His torturer and antagonist swerves him expertly redirecting every question to the great principle of the society. The antagonist tells him how this hurt/torture will lead him a better life in the conformity. To love big brother. It was so cruel that its words burned in my brain, but I choose not to clip it here.

My point right now, is how it all can change you, maybe a scar a heartbreak or a little shot in your groin. Pain that takes sometimes so little time, but so hard to endure can sometimes be actually good for you.

Bitterness hurts

2010-01-31T00:07:00.000-08:00

It always does...:P

Man, I should really get hold of Tumblr soon

I Just Realized

2010-01-30T22:26:00.000-08:00

I meet a lot of people in my life, and somehow, I get a lot of monikers/nicknames.

So here it is:

Indakan

2010-01-30T21:55:00.001-08:00

Last Night was one to remember. And no, not because of the usual crappy reason that everybody thinks is. The fact that I saw my bff-girl again is enough to make my day.

Saturday went like this:

I woke up early in the morn to get going with my usual Saturday-is-a-training-day routine.

Watched PreSchool Family day and chattered and chattered.

Got home at around 2.30 pm and anticipated the parade which goes around yearly. Waved to lotsa people.

Went to Parking lot of school to watch Indakan. Wited and waited.

Saw Elaine In a red shirt. REJOICE REJOICE.

Saw Kyna then FRANS then Hedda :))

Lafftrip and more drinks.

Indakan was fun to watch. So was some other cute faces too.

Had funfunfun

get a life and get real

2010-01-29T23:49:00.000-08:00

February, Heatoruary

2010-01-29T23:28:00.000-08:00

I hate it. The upcoming month is like going to kill me, and the people involved with me.

Alpha and Omega is coming up and its not gonna go easy on me.

Our DoCufilm has 6 dyas left. And counting. Howtheeff are we gonna do that in that time interval?
Prom. Nuff said. Im too scared to discuss it.

Love Poem

2010-01-23T16:52:00.000-08:00

Here is my own "cover" of how do I love thee, by Elizabeth Barrett Browning. Mr. Licky's many icky stuff todo :P

How Do I Love Thee?

Let Me Count the Ways

I love thee like a rose in a win

ter frost's night

sweet and sorrow, standing tall out of sight

Small and Unyielding,would fig

ht for dear life

I love thee like death's own reaper

Fled away but to sav

e others sorrow

I love thee happily, for name and nobility

I adore them arms, stretched on

a knights glade

A golden snake under the sun's yellow shade

I love thee for just, for revenge, and for hell

Because it roots on people

and rings Medusa's bell

I love thee without complaint with an

unyielding spirit

Forever as my soul reigns

And the words that hand it

I think it is so beautiful.Reaching out to...

people

2010-01-17T04:33:00.000-08:00

Happy Birthday to Dadee!

This week has been one of many eccentric (I have to stop reading too many classics, I am beginning to sound likewise)>

Anyways, I had fun with it. Playing two games of hormonal chess with people(w/c, is different). Playing dress up with the faces of CPAC moderators and most of all, keeping my spoils from going under.

If before I usually rant about how freaking depressed I well for once, am not. I think I just found some solace. Do not know if its for keeps but its a great feeling. I find that immersing mysely to school theater and business keeps me from breaking down.

Mosr of all, I thank the Lord for a totally not complicated health problem.

I am gonna be fine.

Well at least until I get my nerves cool enough. I am so nervous about the prom. I have doubts about it. I am quite sure I am not excited. I am just a lil uncomfy of the fact.

My dad dragged me for prom. I feel weird, Why does he do that?
I am so uncomfy. UMCOMFY

Damn

2010-01-15T05:34:00.000-08:00

Havent posted here for awhile. Things are settling down for 2010.

And I still cannot figure out myself.

Dont ask me agAin. I just cant figure it out

Clare O rama

2009-12-21T03:21:00.000-08:00

So yeah, we went swimming at Laguna Bel Air clubhouse.
The houses were not as ostentatious as I thought they would have been but its fine.
I had fun, but I easily got bummed when my foot cramped for like a sec there. But I was fine right away. I swam some more till my teeth tittered with cold. Then I ate swam and showered.
Kahlil and I had fun trying to make a documentary about Clare's non academic recreational ways. I kept laughing. It was like iCarly, only I was Sam there.
We bowled twice. :) I had so much fun I had 2 games :))
I dont wanna mention heartly matters that keeps getting brought up. :( It hurts.
The billiard hall was not my thing. The cue ball hates me. ;D
Im gonna miss them L)

Litlle Bttersweet

2009-12-19T18:13:00.000-08:00

I love it:) Even if I'm busy this gives me strength

Christmas Vacay Overview.

2009-12-19T17:14:00.000-08:00

Damn it. I cannot blog as much as i used to here. Anyways, I just got back from a kill run on Splash Circuit. I asked some Clare people to show, but I guess they're too damn tired even to get up at that hour. (Well, I'm an early riser, kill me for being one 'kay?) :))

As you can see, my blog has had a makeover. It's black again. And I like it simple. I don't like the templates nayways.
I'm having brunch now, and my to-do list is getting shorter, thanks to some friends who have the guts to talk me out of using the ole "big gun". :D
I'm negotiating terms with my dad about tomorrow. I have to convince him. I never get a chance to hang out with them w/o something bothering my head. I really wanna go. And I don't wanna whine about it.
I love running, I felt like a whole new person after being christened with sweat after feeling my shoes tapping on the asphalt. Knowing I'm losing carbs as well as listening to lovely music.
I'm currently loving some of the gifts my classmates gave me, especially the one Sam Garcia gave me, it's a diary. And Andrei and Nilleth's gifts as well. Let's not forget you-know-wh0, remembering my present. Maybe, its nothing to him but it means a lot to me,even if he does not know it. Nor care.

__

Christmas Stuff

2009-12-15T00:08:00.000-08:00

Well, its been a long time since I blogged here. Anyways, stuff have been quite weird lately.

My parents are all going hyper for Christmas. I was quite amused about how busy they seem to be. And there was that court thing to be settled. Which I hate to the max. I can barely concentrate on school and my studies. Our house was one big nut house. If you go into the family room, there would be a constant stream of wrappers, fax beeps, scotch tape rings and wads of folders stuck with headers that even I couldn't understand. My parents never did like Christmas. They think its a big waste of money(good point). And I am starting to adopt the mindset. Which is really annoying. Anyways, I have a been quite a blur if you ask me about the going-ons at school, I'll just answer you in a strange airy way. :D. I have to reorganize myself with all the things going on.

Hmm....sooner or later, I am going to forget something, so I better list them down.

Scratch my parents off my back- do the invites for Xmas gathering

Prepare for MTs

Do stuff for....

Computer

MS.T.GP

Brother

Prepare my gifts

Prep up my BS

Prepare for Christmas Visitor :) (please let it be this year)
clean up room

At Kyna's

2009-12-07T23:44:00.000-08:00

I am writting now while I am at Kyna'as

lAYOUT MAKEOER

2009-12-07T04:19:00.000-08:00

iN construction mode

Cold

2009-12-05T19:46:00.000-08:00

You know its basically your average cold day today.E xcept its Sunday

And I am having brunch delivered after jogging off all my problems at the Southwoods Circuit.

I plan to watch Christmas Carol and New Moon Today.

An current obsession? OWL CITY

mE LOVE IT

imma go and get more things done

Missed Out

2009-12-05T04:39:00.000-08:00

Man. I am missing out, AYLOTE.

Things seems to be totally off the wall lately.

My bff doesnt call no more. I can cry a lot just because of that.

I am far off from my nerd friends.

I dont hang with my cousins anymore.

And my.....special person seems to be ever so far away.

When, I hang with my classmates, I feel like I am a whole different person.Someone I knew I am not.

I became a pleaser. Against my own wishes.

It feels sad. But that's just how life chooses to swirl.

Things seem to be better at some point.

I am friends with my kruhay batchmates

I can laugh more now and smile.

And my novels are turning out pretty sweet.

But I feel like this "change" is turning me out from the people who used to care about me.

...Maybe It;s just me

Anyways. we had a kruhay workshop for tonight. A dance one.

I was the production designer and we prepared all the stuff.

It was not as tiring but I miss the feel of the adrenaline when I move myself.

Here's something that keeps revolving in my head,

" Can you keep still,
when life gets in your way?
Can you let it go slow, go down, go easy go fro,
When you know, which way to go.
Maybe It may not be in your heart yet
But....a life is a flower and its in your hand
Don't let it push and pull you through
LIfe, Its yours so get it!
Nobody can get it for you!

Sixth Sense

2009-11-30T02:06:00.000-08:00

Well how about that...I grew up with a keen sense of 3rd eye that I never really bring uP ANYWAY.

But damn...I am having one of my scary lolo premonition...which means bad news..I hate that.

My dreams are making sense

I am nervous

Blog Update

2009-11-30T01:10:00.000-08:00

Man, I just realized how i am not-blogging here anymore. So I decided to blog. Well there are a lot of reasons why I don't blog as much as I am used to anymore. That is kinda of a lowdown. I am totally wrapped in finishing my first novel. I have completed 15 chapters that took me 5 months at least.

Well, school's really raking me skinless these past few days. It's getting into my head. Kruhay is giving me tense muscles. And projects...really big ones is taking our class...shred by shred. I am so active these days that once weekend hits, I had a major SHOPPING streak, my mom was really shocked. I bought stuff and got a massage too. My mom was looking about to burst (well her credit card was). And I am all set for school tomorrow. Don't worry I handled all stuff that needed taken care of..mostly..what I am doing now

is trying to figure out if I forgot something. My family just had a movie marathon. And I am dreaming of it. Kinda cool.

Finished our CVE as well. GAHAHAH! I will pass tomorrow, that taKES care of that.

I have been reading some rare novels. Which is kinda cool. And I keep getting them quotes all over in my head. Its kinda been stopping me from doing some things.

And man, I am so over that shrink business..well at least my depression is not that bad as it used to be. And I just recovered my sleep. I feel so refreshed.

Here is a quote that I got from a quote generator. Credits to this link

Well, that is something that I have to think about.

I am extending my horizons, and so not gonna let bad teasing and the "pagtutulungan factor" get to me anymore. I dont wanna be trimmed down to size. I just cannot :) It is so part of me

Upped then Downed Again

2009-11-21T04:31:00.000-08:00

I am so darn tired. MT is over but Im sure next week will not be light. And I so do not want to write it here. I feel so tired. :(

Im currently obsessing on a new song: click here. I hate what I am feeling now. :(

suddenly it's not so clear just what i am to you
am i friend, am i lover, do we still need each other
when you touch me, when you touch me baby i can tell

what do we mean to each other, am i friend, am i lover is it over now
if this is it then why bother tell me where do we take it from here
what do we mean to each other am i friend ,am i lover, is it over now
do you love me still or do you just mean well

Typing fingers

2009-11-14T04:43:00.000-08:00

So I have this desperate need to hear my fingers flying and tip-tappering on the keyboard. So here's a few stuff that keeps getting stuck on my head. A bunch of odds and ends from all my writting attempts.

- So, I looked out the window, It was cold but it was the good cold. People around me rushed as they're life swirled away in the rhythm of the dance. BuT I couldn't put myself in there. Knowing my mind had to be with something...else

- Stop screaming at me! you holler out instructions. How mediocre I am, my mistakes my failures. How I fail to follow your string. How when I think I am right, you defy it. I don't know the way tp go anymore. I thought I knew, but why me? If you know that I am not god enough.

-That electric touch can send swirls in your mind. Cloud your brain and severe your judgement. But dear, have you given it a chance to see, that behind all that. I can send all my love, without being as touchy as you because I know what you need and you gotta have.

so yeah, Im fine now.

Greet the World and breathe :)

2009-11-14T04:16:00.000-08:00

I knew, I was bound to blog at some point. Somehow, Saturday Night..TONIGHT is kinda cool for me...for once. Nuff said.

So yeah, I have been Kruhay-ing much of the time this past 2 weeks, I wanna get my Academic foot a big step to get myself back on the track. And I got a super upper when I saw my grades this Quarter. (Its not high compared to my 2nd year, but it has RAISED significantly from the first grading). And I am aiming higher this quarter. Though how dead exhausted it may get me.

Take time to breathe..."

Wow, when Josh Golden sang that out, I realized that I myself needed time to breathe. And man, I have only been panting for quite awhile now because of the surprises that hit me hard in the face. First, I was able to pull off an excellent grade for Geom this quarter. I got my first ever line of 9 in math. It felt SO good. Secondly, I pulled off a comedic role for Kruhay quite recently, I am not exactly in touch with the character before. But, my director looked quite satisfied with the hardest performance in my life. Talk about Worlds Collide. Oh wells.

Second SiR Edmon shocked me when he told me that I was gonna be the Production Designer for one of the biggest projects at school next year. Good thing Bob was co-working with me, RELIEF FOR THAT. And there is one way cool staff jacket. Me Likey. Do hope that Sir Edmon does not change his mind about it.

Third, My 'rents and I are in a gigantic awful clash. Nuff said about that. Though our extended line of the family keeps having suprises. Though not to be mentioned here for personal reasons.

Fourth, Something grew up to a ripe Apple tree. Its in full bloom. But I am not sure, its ready for harvesting just yet. Im not sure if its for me at all. But I feel like it is really for me to reach and hold on to. I think Kyna Albert knows plenty about what the heck of an Apple Tree Im ranting here. But I think its one thing I want to look forward to. :D Wish me Luck

Oh, and I promised a lot of people I would greet them so here goes:

-Belated to Sam Garcia and Lue Alcalde. GAHAHAHA

-Happy Birthdays to Tito Res and Eudes Dural, big people na kayo

-Congratulations at the big promotion to Anna Casareno and Richie Laice. haha. sana permanent na yun.

- Best Wishes to the newly weds: the all new Mr. and Mrs. Cordova....welcome to the clan!

Will end here.tired

Saturday

2009-11-07T04:27:00.000-08:00

wHHARRTTA day.First officiAl maskara fest day

Yeah. So I had Kruhay for like 3 days now. And it feels so refreshing to have them around me again. Sure, Clare's in good terms with me. But I just can't help falling in love with Kruhay, they're lovable,works together and I hardly see any bickering. Or if there are any, it's quickly resolved.

So I woke up way too early to get a head start to get to school. I quickly proceeded to find my play, Terroristang Labandera. We weren't exactly the best play yet. So in the midst of the early Morn. We practiced practiced and practiced. When the clock struck 8.40 I began to help prepare SubText(one i work on as a stage manager). I love job. :)

We had a special audience, kids from San Francisco Nat'l High School. Each year level, will watch two shows. Subtext got first year. It was actually funny. But I don't think they really understood the play. It was good and other people appreciated it.

Well, after Subtext. Terroristang Labandera was my focus. It was a full force comedy and it was quite hard for me. Our director was really all worked up and she was so hard to please. So it was so hard work. I was quite sick since I kept sneezing.

In the end, TL got through. Sir Edmon even laughed. It was gret but not good enough.

GTG. sleep now

Sembreak Lalalove

2009-11-02T02:49:00.000-08:00

Yes! One of the greatest sembreaks ever! Okay, I might have started this week out with a rant but honestly its one that I will remember.

Okay so I lost my phone. Thats a big downer but seriously I dunno where to start.

Monday-Tuesday: We also arrived back from our hometown after an early visit to the bone yard. I even had a great adventure with my cousins there. On which, its supposed to be scary, but somehow, I laughed at it coz its hilarious. We were also making up plans for Thursday. It's a big day.

Wednesday: Kruhay day. Ever dead tired. Two plays much? I had to go run around act and then stage manage at the same time. I fell asleep late too.

Thursday: PARTY for mom! It was very tiring. and enjoyable. Met a lot of INTERESTING prospects.

Friday: another Kruhay day. supposedly. But it was dismissed. We visited people who we know.

And a movie marathon. I got online and chatted for some time. But I kept getting distracted

Saturday: Fright Day at home. We kept playing pranks. We went out. And a cool movie marathon too.

Sunday: Downtime. It was cool. We visited my moms colleague. It was quite boring but we did a good shopping spree afterwards. haha :P

Monday: At home, preparing for school. I was supposed to do IP but my rents got angry and I got grounded. Shet.

I'll miss a lot of people from sembreak. Till next vacay! :)

Depression Bout

2009-10-26T05:17:00.000-07:00

Darn Hormones.

I hate it. Wanna know why?

Well, I'm feeling sad and very sensitive again. I took my medicine. But in vain, Im so sensitive that if someone made a rude comment on me today, I'll maybe..break into tears. I have a lot of things that stress me out but my depression has took it up a notch. Even my parents are causing me grief. Goodness.

But most of all, a recurring situation bothers me a lot these days. It concerns my insecurity a lot. I hate it. And all these "recent failures" are making me feel down even more. I miss someone a lot. A lot of someones. I wish everything will be alright. I cannot help feeling really sad.

Right now, in the midst of the mess that I am right now, one person will cheer me up. Wish he's around though]

TO do

-Prepare for Maskara Fest

-Write the 9 chapter report

-IP THING

-TLE SHOPPING LIST

-LAB MANUAL THING

Prettyy much it

life's afternoon

2009-10-23T03:04:00.000-07:00

I took a step back. Let you go....:)

Anyways, its the last day of the exams. At least I made it through, quite fine.

I have a lot of duties to do this sembreak. I dread it. Oh, irony, must you always catch me?

There is one thing that I do love about being school despite the busy-ness that happens, a particular two things has just come back in my life now.

Of course, I doubt the other one, so it seems, it felt like a dream come true (cheezy) but now, I am seriously doubting it. But I do hope, it is still there. I ell miss it though. I hate being alone at home.

The other one? I just found a way back into him recently, it has been such a great relief to feel his presence near me once again. I feel closer to him once more. And more at peace , I might add.

I'm talking about our Lord BTW. :D

The other one>?

hahaha. find out

LastTime

2009-10-20T19:02:00.000-07:00

Last time to goof off and get crazy...well at least for the while.since we DO have a test

There is a lot of "last times" that these days conjures up for me..

It relives up memories that happened..last year.

Some of them, I think I cannot have no more, but suddenly came back. :)

And some, I don't think, it will ever be the same. Whether its for good or bad.

But I know, some of them, AS unpredictable as ever

BBye.

Self Watch

2009-10-17T00:46:00.000-07:00

Oh sure it's not your fault.Well I guess most of the time, it's mine. And I am trying to be nice here

Its 8pm at the clock this Saturday.I just dug up my multiply site from my many untouched net profiles.Imma edit the site.It badly need some work but some other time. I have just finished fragmenting 3 subjects in a row today.And look, But I guess, that's not the best way to put it. I scraped through 3, would sound more appropriate.Things are going quite well. Okay that's a real fat lie.

I know.

It's not.

But i don't bother to rant anymore. It's useless and unhealthy. I have a lot of negative energy stirring up inside me, and it;s not a very healthy way to cope. I'm trying to face my problems headstrong though, it may take a lot of courage and determination. My mind is off track all the time. If its not it's perpetually shocked by the series of events that had recently whirred past me. TOO MUCH ALL AT ONCE.

Oh well, It's not like it's a bad bad thing. But im happy with a few certain developments now, I'm kinda waiting for further stuff to happen. Oh, my mind is too cluttered to study academics sometimes, I'll ask the divine grace tomorrow for help and also thanksgiving.

BACK TO WORK!...TOMORROW. NOW? iMMA immerse myself in the internet

Gahh

2009-10-15T22:59:00.000-07:00

We have irregular schedules/\

That's all I want to say right now, the keyboards not good.

Crammed

2009-10-14T00:57:00.000-07:00

Can I just say. WTFF!

School is just not being light today.

I got a ton of homework and the only time I blog now is during Computer time.

You know, This is really bad. My waterloos are not yet fixed for all that. And well, Kruhay's getting on my nerves.

Business stuff? HAH! tell me about it.

I can just tell you right now that this is all too much for me.

Oh yeah, Exams coming up.

Damn, I cant even concentrate on one thing w/o not worrying

to-do

English Paper (Tomorra)

TLE Wire thing (Friday)

SS Presentation thing. (Tomorra)

Statement of Account and and Review of Past Performance (Thursday)

CVE Report with Eudes (Monday)

Science Report with Sarah and Thea (n/a)

GAAAH!

Recollection

2009-10-10T16:06:00.000-07:00

Yeah, Just like any other, we departed at the aftie

(making this fast coz Im grounded)

Trisha,Michelle and I were roomies again.

3xa wanted my bed but me and michelle just kept our last positions before.

We were also the first to sit at the session hal (funny that keeps happening)

Somehow, someone..err,.. a person Im particularly fond of manged to get lodged next to me. :)

It was fun, but the topic REJECTION was the one I kept avoiding. I have a lot of problems.

We cried hard. I told myself I wouldn't cry but somehow, EVERYTHING came back to me.

Then there was the revelation part. I kept crying, I couldn't stop. I hugged Kahlil and reconciled with him, said sorry to a few more people and thanked some of the best people I encountered for everything that has happened. I also, found out something, but it just confused me.

Recollection this year is one I'll remember and thats for sure

*HAVE YOU tried googlechrome? It's awesome!!

You Belong With Me

2009-10-03T23:43:00.001-07:00

Edited pic :)
For Kyna; since she's actually relating to the song.
Comment on the photo
Will ye'?

Sweet

2009-10-03T03:18:00.000-07:00

Im kinda happy now.
And I just watched Charlie and the Chocolate Factory.
Instilled a new found kid in me.
I want a choco bar
And get rich too.
I wish I can be like CHarlie Bucket.

He is nice, caring,lovable,sensible and an all too cute pink nose i might add.
Chocolate lovin

icon mania!

2009-10-01T05:47:00.000-07:00

yes, i make icons.
Resize them at picnik and do them at paint
I dont use Photoshop for these.
Would appreciate a comment.
And see more in my photobucket account.
Its at the left side.
:))

Shuccks

2009-09-29T03:05:00.000-07:00

I received a text message:

Fr.Pido issued a memo, no classes till Friday

I was seriously annoyed. I had enough rest already im gonna succumb to this.

Early sembreak much?

I can feel the lazy bug creeping upon me. I hate this
Katorse's on. Imma watch

Yiruma

2009-09-28T22:54:00.000-07:00

I love this song. It's with jazz. I cant help feeling relaxed with his music

Do you know why i ignore you?

2009-09-28T05:33:00.000-07:00

Yes, I said that. Because, i need to, I don't need your negativity right now, at least that's what my shrink says.
I know you're my friend ( i think) but sometimes you just have to watch out for the truth. You treat my like dirt nayways. So i choose to ignore you.
i KNOW, you're probably gonna influence other people to hate me as well.
hah!
AS if they're not doing that already. Besides, I need to do that. Your insults are not a good, so does your extensive hurtful words. You may think you're helping, but you're doing more damage.
Following the shrink: avoid direct sources of negativity.
So sorry. I'm not good with teasing and i dont have the longest temper. It's called passive defense

:/

Okay..supposedly

2009-09-28T03:04:00.000-07:00

It was a great day. People came into our house and all that, I was happy.
We practiced and did some of moves. Yeah, we are halfway with the MAPEH thing, and things seems to go alright. I even forgot a little "thing" that really bothered me about a person.
It was fine, well until we got to the sharing part. I know, I was pretending not to listen care and do stuff with my iPOD(thank God fro kruhay lessons). But you know, I seriously cannot help it, I didnt want to get hurt or anything like that but somehow, it managed to hurt me..real good. I didn't say a word about it and luck seemed to love me, since I was not given a chance to talk about it. Or else i would have spilled it all and things will go our of hand. Seriously, I did not intend to get hurt but when Regine and I went up to get her sweater, I just can't help feeling...much more withdrawn, I wish I didn't feel that way anymore. I wish I could care less and just manage to be a friend, but something is always there, foever in it, But never will come out and never will be allowed.

:)
:(

Blogger damn

2009-09-27T20:28:00.001-07:00

The blogger buzz just had this new on who wants to participate.Well when i looked and clicked it it had requirements,
Damn at "least 18 years old"
And they're paying 100 dollars.
Ohkay.Double Damn
:)

mkeover

2009-09-27T05:29:00.000-07:00

I did my blogspot some prepping up. I have a footer now! cHECK IT. and added some few brighteners here and there. And an animated thing or two?
Got a suggestion? sUGGEST!

Whhatta Day

2009-09-27T04:05:00.000-07:00

So yeah, eventually the meet did go. But only Jamie and Kyna came. Which was a big disappointment. We didn't do much, but we pretty much have an idea.
We talked a lot kanina. It was actually very much fun. And intriguing. Lot has been revealed.
We're gonna meet again tomorra. Same time same place and hopefully with more people involved. :)

Well, Well

2009-09-26T19:23:00.000-07:00

Guess what. I am back on track.
Yup. The party was moved to my other cousin's. NaYWAYS, iam excited. TotALLY.
wish that the thing for today will continue and pray to God it wont rain hard. This is the very first time that the rain has actually annoyed me at some point. I love it..usually.
Im not angry anymore, I guess two make that 4 people cheered me up last night. And well, lets just see.
I am domesticating our house (yeah) and i plan to show them our other two houses at the Silcas main road. Rain dear, hold your breath!
gtg, DOMESTICATING IS IN PROGRESS

(CHEERIEOS!)

Drat

2009-09-26T01:53:00.000-07:00

Gee people get a schedule.
Not everybody has time on their hands some people have plans that involve a lot of pressure and is way complicated even to comprehend. I showed dastardly effort in trying to fit you in, but if you disappear w/o a word and abandoning those who came, SHIT YOU!
Some people happen to have a their whole lives planned. And doesnt want to ruin it coz its so much trouble, would it be too much of an effort to so not text or im or call? Besides, who will suffer? KAYO RIN NAMN AH!. Thanks for those who gave EFFORT TO INFORM ME EARLY. And to those, who cannot give a damn. SHIT YOU!

(HEADACHE AGAIN)

Oh Damn :-/

2009-09-22T01:58:00.000-07:00

I'd been to the shrink again.And i have to agree with hedda, its not just for crazy people, its also for not in the track.

Well, he's prescribed this meds for less tension and stress. Well when he interviewed me, he asked whether there are people who are causing me to be insecure and unsure of myself. I asked what he meant, because from what he'd known i am not supposed to be this tense. I didn't answer and he let me think about it. Damn, so my meds has increased. And my headaches are getting worse, good thing i know how to counteract it. My shrink seems weird :D

Oh, I forgot, I have to memorize two scripts
I have to reorganize my schedule, I dont have real time for everything, and study pa.

Untitled

2009-09-20T22:41:00.000-07:00

Yeah, i probably cannot think of a title so hence "Untitled".
Monday is today and well, tomorra is our monthly exams. And i studied almost all. Im still not finished with AA. Its burning my brainpower. :(

There was a hilarious moment just this morning, my mom and I were out in Southwoods jogging (w/c i badly needed, i can literally feel my waistline increasing :/) , Then out of the blue, she asked me if I intend to be a mother like her. I guffawed loudly. Then when my etiquette came back, I told her that i dunno. I dont have that in mind. She looked at me with this unsure eye of hers and told me to assess, what i want in life. I pointed out that Im in high school, And not graduating from college. She insists that i have a goal this early, I just looked at her and told her I's probably think about it.
Is she rushing me to get outta house or what? It was funny, because I was thinking of er.. other things. I asked her why she asked me and told me that I should probably be ready.I shrugged it.
For me, my future consists of being financially stable life, a hot car and travel the world. Oh, and add a good business too and I am ready to go.

School isn't worth mentioning, I have no good things to tell. It just gives grief.and schoolwork recently

Hooray!

2009-09-19T05:03:00.000-07:00

I was dumb enough to forget my EXACT blogspot password. So well now i remember it. I keep forgetting certain parts of it, so after a few trillion tries with the caps lock I finally diid it

Nothing Much to report, nothing good to tell.
Well we have the monthly exams and Im bothered again

I may blog something later

Bye

YEHEY!

2009-09-12T04:13:00.000-07:00

"....Raven: Im teling u, If "it" dsn't bite den don't try it agn?
Robelle/Kim: What? That's completely out of what we were talking about. Can we not include that in our convos?
Raven: NvM. Im Shagged. Ok...."

So all the planning i did for the past was fine. We got through it all. And it seemed to me that I can breathe a lot better now. Well much more than before.

This week I got the shock of my life, and NO. I would not put it here. I just cannot relate some details here. For my own reasons.. XD
I am literally singing and dancing out of Joy. I feel relaxed and fine. Well, a little, I still have a
little thing to fix.

But i will be happy now, even if it kills me

Hunting

2009-09-10T04:41:00.000-07:00

We-ell good thing i didn't have any reason to stay behind at school today. Today is reALLy cool. My parents are going flat hunting in Manila. And looking at lots at La Vista. No, we are not moving, my parents are making a major investment & my future place if i get to study at the big city. Which will be totally kewl. :)

We just got home from Manila, I don't know how my father dodges traffic, but he does it. We got to 5 condos already and is studying each one. My parents went to La Vista and talked about the house and lot thing. I have to say, the new flats near Fort Bonifacio seemed cool to me. And the other one with the pool cafe and massage place.

We are not done though, I think they plan to continue hunting on Saturday. Thank God my kruhay practices are over...for now.
When i saw these places, it got me thinking about college and what kind of life i may acquire...mmmmm.....thesis anyone?

This just isnt right

2009-09-09T04:20:00.001-07:00

You Know, i have a hard time trusting friends. Well most people, i would not call them "friends". You don't know me as deep.
Sometimes, I do let my guard down. And there you go, we are friends I help you you help me we hang out laugh and all that. But, I just cannot understand that when you have "improved" a great deal about yourself, you cannot even spare time to drop me a word about whatthefrigginhell is happening to you but back before, you cannot get past the day w/o talking to me. Before i knew everything, now it pains you tell me something nor spare me a decent eye and a "hello". Improve your hell-bent attitude, I am STILL your friend but dont expect me to back you up, you left me a long time ago when you didn't even know it, i tried reaching out
i can't give and give and give w/o expecting your friendship in return. THAT IS JUST SICK

Hiatus

2009-09-06T15:26:00.000-07:00

BREAK!
I am a person with the net virus but i am not going to go online too much. Serious Issues

Shocked

2009-08-30T03:20:00.001-07:00

I was just in a happy mood, calmly surfing the net when all of a sudden one of my good friends RAven PM'ed to tell me that

hes moving to US in two weeks

Damn.'
Ill miss him

:(

AGreatKruhayDay

2009-08-29T00:31:00.000-07:00

We-ell from my perspective that is. We had 3 shows t'day. And its all good. Nothing major to complain about. And i gotta say, my whole household appeared at the 12noon show, which actually surprised me with inevitable delight. It was absolutely rare to find them all there at the seats. One of our helpers even cried at Serapio, during the dunking into the water. I actually laughed at her. Well nicely at least. It was also our president's birthday, there was a heated tension in the air as we tried to hide her suprise birthday party. She cried too, i guess from al the shock. There was also a jokemania there. Headed by Dominic and Bob, though to note,I like Dom's jokes better (take that Gonzaga!). I generally had fun.

Llalalove you kruhay
Happy Bday Te Ebib!

Decided.

2009-08-28T04:11:00.000-07:00

Oh the irony of it all. I can remember all the blogs that I wrote thAt meant "im confused". Well, im clearing things up, well at least SOME of that.
First off, my feelings for my bff. We talked and i realized that I dont likelike him. Just maybe a like will be better and i think I know that its just we are close friends. And I just feel comfy around him but no real thing.
I have to be more specific of what I want in life. And maybe, be more friendlier. It will so not help being bitter and quiet all the time.
I have to be more responsible and less hot tempered if i want to respect. And also, RESPECT BEGETS RESPECT.
My friends are not dummies, I have to be more friendlier with them if i intend to keep them with me.

Well... that's all of it. I dont think I left anything out

"mATURITY"

A Bite accident

2009-08-27T04:40:00.000-07:00

I am gonna take things slowly and by each time. And i just found out something
Check this out:

(names hidden due to embarassing issues of the people involved. But you may guess)

KC: someone bit my arm!
Robelle/Kim: SO WHOS THE PERSON?
Robelle/Kim: LUE?
KC: FC....whom I now call Doggie.
Robelle/Kim: > like why>?
KC: kc..
KC: kc.... tinurn off ko ung display nung psp na nilalaro nya...eh akala nya c kc ako.....nakaglue ung mata nya sa psp eh...
KC: tapos..
KC: sabi pala nya..."kv. tumigil ka. kakagatin kta"...eh di ko narinig
KC: so aun
Robelle/Kim: hahahahahahahahaa
KC: i ended up having light bite marks on my arm.
KC: geeeez.
Robelle/Kim: damn. i almost fellout of my bed
KC: hahahahahaha
Robelle/Kim: i cant stop laughing excuse me'

~~~~~~~~~~~
then i asked FC what happened...

Robelle/Kim: U BIT KC?
FC: during my gameplay
Robelle/Kim: +))
FC: eh kasi
Robelle/Kim: he looks lke kv?
FC: sabi ko ng 3times "oy kv wag"
FC: eh tuloy pa rin sabi ko "kakagatin kita!"
FC: tuloy pa rin kaya ayun
FC: nagawa ko ang karumaldumal na krimen
Robelle/Kim: na ngangagat ka pala
FC: sabi ko sa inyo na noong bata ako talagang nangangagat ako
FC: pag galit
FC: eh kanina sobrang kulit ni kc kaya ayun
Robelle/Kim: ddnt know that
Robelle/Kim: (laughing)
FC: akala ko kasi sya si kv

~~~~~~~

By the way FC

WOOF! WOOF!

Oh Dear

2009-08-26T03:50:00.000-07:00

In all my experiences as part of the school's theatre group. This neon is err... the most un-kruhay play. I know it will get better but.. OMG
d bale TDR lang un..

go kruhay!
as one we can
(aswang si ken!)
+))

Sneaky Entry

2009-08-25T04:22:00.000-07:00

So yeah, Im kinda in the busy mood right nao. Im at the hospital waiting for the blood test and billing, but ever so slow, i decided to blog.
The day was quite interesting, there was a pre-pageant thing for Mr and Ms. CSA, well of course I cheered for my classmates and kruhaymate. But at schoool Im not really paying attention since all i have been trying to think about was my G-ma in the hospital.
When I got here around 6 in the aftie, I had an immediate surprise, Raven was there. I forgot how close our families were. Damn him, I feel stiff with him around, turns out he decided to visit. So i chatted with Grandma while he chatted with the people making "bantay". She seems to be getting better, and steering off the ICU i ever so hope. So there, well turns out Raven wasnt that Mad. Thank goodness, Im actually using his laptop and his broadband thing while doing this. He was talking to me, but i never am paying attention. He is gone for awhile, but imma end this b4 he returns

Straight from the Hospital Suite in Muntinlupa

2009-08-24T03:20:00.000-07:00

I have been reading through my other friends' blogs. I realized that they had a great time of their lives while they are still in high school. Man, I know i have been with them for awhile, but i realized how much time and effort my trainings, responsibilities AS the oldest daughter and trying to make up some time for my old friends has torn me away from my school people. No wonder i feel bitter at school, well at class mostly :)). Oh well, I can handle myself pretty well though, not as bitter as i used to be, Thank God for that Shrink. Now, time: and tearing it out for friends. I also realized a funny fact. I don't hang out with them unless there is a project to work on or something. I only hang out with my non-school friends. Am i biased or what? Oh well, I don't feel the need of this casual outings anyway, I don't wanna waste money, I let my parents do that for me. And i am much closer to my non school friends. Bahhahaah :))

I am veering off the blog topic. Anyways, I am seriously worried with my grandmother (called NANAY hereafter). She is my G-ma from the mother's side. A very loving woman who can manipulate my mom's decision and has been there ever since I was born. She never really treated me like I am supposed to be the "blessed oldest daughter" I feel like a normal kid that she is used to contend with. She's the kind of person that even at the frail age of 70, can still play badminton with the Bad on it. The person who would let me fall asleep on her lap and then pull a blanket over me so not to wake me up to go to my room. She sneaks candy if i need it and is a sensible easygoing woman knows how to handle a big knife and chop woods and still discpline all of 10 kids who are my aunts and uncles. I love her a lot, and i never feel like i have to prove myself or change me. Oh damn grandmother's love. She's supposed to be in ICU now, and seeing her like that breaks my heart. I seriously wanna stay with her but alas, mom wont let me. I love you G-MA, fight!

Terrible

2009-08-23T04:14:00.000-07:00

Damn. I dont know what it feels like to be ditched. But i think it may hurt.
I am always the ditcher not the ditchee. Though, I think i may have been ditched, but not at that point. Damn, I seriously am worried. SSure do hope to find a way to make him my friend again

SweetTalk

2009-08-22T16:58:00.000-07:00

Man, people around my family is getting sick. Oh Damn.
So, i plan to stay at the hospital for awhile, though no laptops. So no net.:(
Anyways, I plan to make good decisions around now, and i know it will affect people around me, they may not like it too. :))

Cheerios

Like WOah. Woah..

2009-08-20T04:24:00.000-07:00

That my dears, is the title of a song from Aly and Aj. And the perfect title for my circuits t'day.
Yeah, we finished the test and well, I think the First Quarter will be such a disappointment. And im not expecting anything. Darn, next week will be such a pain I just know it.

Anyways, training is resuming again and I will be tired. I have only a small comfort for doing this things over and over again. Hope things will be alright. Daaamn. Time was never my friend.

Too Tired to blog; still confused here at Vista

CoolOff from Periodicals Study Sesh Entry

2009-08-17T03:03:00.000-07:00

Yeah, its the quarterly giant test that everybody dreads. And its the first quarter. Damn. Its way hard. I, for one, think its a pretty bad combination. I'm still seizing up the Junior Lifestyle and here comes the big judgment season. I've seen my Standings and I predict a very bad start. So, i started studying last Friday. I have actually ran through SS,Chemistry,Computer MAPEH,TLE & CVE. So that's half the job. Add the stupid assignment on Chem about compounds and the AM Radio Receiver and a mixture of a really unrested 14-year-old with too much responsibilities and you got my breeze now. :)

I am not expecting anything this quarter but i can't just let my Advanced Algebra slip off but you know, I cannot do the study study thing in a continuous manner. I have to take 5 minute-breaks, a lot of it. Damn, even my blog is about academics, I need to get off the subject.

So moving on with the real thing i wanna write about here, I kinda finished the radio for Home Ec. fast. I had a lot of help last Saturday afternoon. My cousins and my childhood friend helped me finish the rest of it. They are so gonna be treated for my radio worked incredibly well and slashed it off my to-do list. So i got the Saturday afternoon off as well. I got to talk to my best guy childhood friend Raven,(who i just got reacquainted with during the influenza quarantine week) for awhile. Since we have been chatting a lot on YM for the past weeks. And he knows everything that has been previously happening about my circuits.
I have this little thing ( i certainly will not call it a problem) that i told him. (And not to be specified here) I was really having a hard time decoding the thing and making a decision. Out of the blue he told me, "you have a plan and you don't even realize it (chuckle chuckle (love his laff)), you just probably need something to clear your mind and be around less "harsh" environments." Then he grinned. I still dont know what the hell it means. And when the confused look spreaded across my face, he told me to forget it. DAMN, i cant even get my own childhood friend. Sometimes, i actually think he has this cra-z belief about how i work things.
Afterwards, he helped me study CVE. And asked me out again. (He asked me out to shopping twice nao, i keep turning it down, but i did go out with him, during the week of influenza q.) I dunno whats up with that. Though, my 'rents know about the goin out(though it isnt the date thing). I think he wants to catch up with the time that has past. Oh well, he is still the guy with the stupid unforgettable and otherwise out of the convo comments though with a much more attractive physique. :)). Miss you Kua Rave!

I have to study AA and go back to TLE just in case. Blog sometime after the tests.
We are using Vista! And im having a hard time with it though its interface is cool

cursed, i think

2009-08-09T02:31:00.000-07:00

I am behind the AM Radio receiver.
There, i said it out loud. All i did with it is compute the resistors. What kind of student am i?
The play finished....finally. It so hard to do the lights for a fantasy/absurd play so many thingamajigs and added blahblahs to make sure everything is set and also always on cue with the music. Easy enough you say? I dont think you will be laughing when you see the kind of switchboard i have for it. And it's dark,. i cant make out the script. Good thing i have an assistant.

My schoolwork needs work. The first periodic test is 2 weeks away and we have a production-sss a month away. OOOOhhhh... help me God.

I am also very... unfeeling? no. Im just in an undescribable state right now. Im not sad because of the usual reasons i blab here, nor happy because of the reasons i dont talk about or things that make me happy usually.
I don't really think im de-cluttering my mind, in fact, I have a pretty good note there in my head. But i think, im figuring something out, but even i can't say what it is. Dammit, ihatebeingateensometimes. I just do hope i survive this week w/o a scratch.

you can never really say you figured it oput, unless you have known that the person tells you the truth that you already have

BEEN READING TO MANY CLASSICS

SweetAndSour

2009-08-06T04:57:00.000-07:00

I guess it is more of a sour thing.
Anyway, i think my mom is considering taking me to a shrink.
Which absolutely scares me. I am not crazy am i?
She just told me today. And i freaked out (well of course, not in front of her)
I immediately reasserted myself. I guess anxiety diorders and depression may be the thing. Though i am still not sure. If i am to be asked, i am really confused at this time of the moment. And i dare not say anything about it, because i really dont know where it came from. Not that i am crazy or anything but there are things that my many kiddie problems come from. I do sometimes wonder if this is anything but normal. +sigh.

I am seriously getting the hang of things again. I am back to normal, though i feel very err.... stiff.
Sometimes i keep asking myself how i fit in but in another way i really do, but sometimes i feel like i only half know what is going on.

I am not ranting, nor is this the problematic stuff i am writting, i am just confused and yet peaceful.

"Like a dream, when you know you're in it and youll wake up but somehow you just cannot accept that fact because of the beauty and sensation you feel."

I gotta get off the net nao. I have to choose the book i have to bring for the read program tomorrow.

Flat Iron-ed

2009-08-04T05:17:00.000-07:00

Damn. I have a lot to do. I already did the top priority. And im doing all the stuff that i need to do. Damn that the school has a silver anniv. Life was easier last year.
Oh well, at least Kuya Raven cheers me up even if he is from far off. And not in Laguna. man, i miss him already, he's such the kind of person to run to when nobody here can actually be a good person around me. LOL.
We have Kruhay Practice tomorra and IP the next day. Damn dAMN. At kleast Kuya Raven updates CreativeJuicer. tHOUGH I fliter it before it gets pUBLIC.

Burhaha. After all this im stranding myself on an island :)

And then I said...

2009-08-03T04:58:00.000-07:00

wOAH, people are hooking up on blogspot. Well my connections. I can no longer keep up the secret diary here,so im moving it to blogspot.

Well, when we returned to school this week it was quite interesting though i miss a particular toy back then. But then, i have two toys, i cant keep both playong with them can i>?

I'll have to weigh it down with w/c i can feel better. I am way tired of repairing the toy. I wanna play with it. :)

ANways, We are making this AM radio for class. I am having done with it. :((

Blahoo baby!

Chuckle.

2009-07-30T05:49:00.000-07:00

I just realized how seemingly geeky most of the CSA people i know.

No Offense. But seriously, there is a world beyond thoSE.

LOL :))

Good

2009-07-30T05:04:00.000-07:00

Im not problEmatic anymore. Things are settled in my way.
The stinky homework that we have to do is alreadyy DOONE! well most of it.
Man, i don't think iam ready to face the world yet. HAHA.
weird..right?

I have been listening to greengiant ay lot.
Loving it.hhaha. I have been a very avid fan of it.
I also posted that c.j has got a new owner.
PSSH... i just wanna do it different.
I am also making icons nao.
Here's a few. I am looking forward to making it a

I think its way cool.
bbye nao.

Back.

2009-07-29T05:14:00.000-07:00

Loving to be back. My family and i had been on some pretty interesting stuff since Sunday aftie. We returned at about Wednesday midday. HAHAHA...
interesting by means... :))

Anyways, im totally happy though i dont know how to ever finish our H.W.
This week was just an eye opener for me. AS IN

FIRSTDATE ROCKS! LOVELOVELOVE

Back.

2009-07-29T00:50:00.000-07:00

I've been on hiatus for quite awhile and well. Im almost done with the shitty stuff.
I may post something good but not now. Im de-cluttering and trying to get back on my feet. So you know, may take time before i may blog something

oh yeah,

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO

HEDDA AND ELOI!

ReFrESH

2009-07-26T21:44:00.000-07:00

Just done my BLOGSPOT some prepping up.
Im in the middle of the Roman Civilization.
May Blog Something soon.

p.s like the header?

Self Talk Number two (choo!)

2009-07-24T17:37:00.000-07:00

A and S are back from my rather "In hiatus mind"

A: I guess we dont really know the real thing about some people eh?

S: yes,we don't. We just assume our reactions based from what they tell...err show us,

A: do you think we did something wrong?

S: I don't think so. Well we haven't done anything...yet.

A: Of course we haven't.But should we?

S: i mean, c'mon... im really confused. I think we should step back. We might get hit a little too hard than what we can actually take.

A: I think its about time we took our stand. If not now, when?

S: that sounds rather suprising, don't you think, well coming form you i mean.

A: Well, we do get mixed up sometimes. :D

S: I really dont know,

A: its hard to make this decision.

S: i know, because sometimes, its in favor of us, sometimes its not.

A: When the balance we know seems teetering back and forth, you can never really put yourself in it.

S: And sometimes, we are just afraid to make the wrong decisions.

A: and to get embarrassed. I don't think we are ready fore this yet, now that i think about it.

S: We have to make a decision. This couldn't go much longer.

-figure out a decision is much harder than you think it is. But somehow, it seems too hard even to say the things you wanna say

Day Dos.

2009-07-24T17:20:00.000-07:00

School is suspended for ten (HELL!) days.
I say it would be good but you know,
a months worth of homework is so not good.
Id rather go to school if that's the matter.

Well, i have been keeping up with all the stuff they gave us.
Right nao. I finished all the things in the projects category and done with english and cve.
Next on my list is 15 chapters of Crisostomo Ibarra and Padre Damaso.

My tooth also has a problem and im going to the dentist later this afternoon.
Im already sinking to hiatus from school mode. I need to do schoolwork or ill lose my brainpower more.(I already have lost some of it).

Things in my mind needs some seriously de-cluttering. And a positive attitude. Seems like all i blog about is rantsrantsrants.
I wonder if im mentally healthy>?

Note To Self:
-get more sleep
-memorize that periodic table PRONTO!
-organize and stick to sched as much as possible.
-learn. and learn the right things to do.

-kthanksbai-